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The Thing

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Antarctica: an extraordinary continent of awesome beauty. It is also home to an isolated outpost where a discovery full of scientific possibility becomes a mission of survival when an alien is unearthed by a crew of international scientists. The shape-shifting creature, accidentally unleashed at this marooned colony, has the ability to turn itself into a perfect replica of any living being. It can look just like you or me, but inside, it remains inhuman. In the thriller "The Thing," paranoia spreads like an epidemic among a group of researchers as they're infected, one by one, by a mystery from another planet.

Paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) has traveled to the desolate region for the expedition of her lifetime. Joining a Norwegian scientific team that has stumbled across an extraterrestrial ship buried in the ice, she discovers an organism that seems to have died in the crash eons ago. But it is about to wake up.

When a simple experiment frees the alien from its frozen prison, Kate must join the crew's pilot, Carter (Joel Edgerton), to keep it from killing them off one at a time. And in this vast, intense land, a parasite that can mimic anything it touches will pit human against human as it tries to survive and flourish.

"The Thing" serves as a prelude to John Carpenter's classic 1982 film of the same name.

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C'est bien que ce ne soit pas un remake, parce que contrairement au Messie, je ne trouve pas que le "The Thing" de Carpenter avait vraiment besoin d'être retapé. C'est un de mes films d'horreur préféré et c'est aussi surement un des meilleurs des 80s. Les effets spécieux ont quand même bien vieilli, j'espère d'ailleurs que ce prequel n'abusera pas trop du CGI en ce qui concerne les monstres. J'aimais beaucoup le look "plastique humide dégueulasse" de la version de 1982.

Ce serait aussi vraiment cool s'il gardait les influences et les sonorités "synthé" de la bande sonore d'Ennio Morricone. Ça faisait tellement bien la job.

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C'est pas un remake mais un prequel.


C'est quoi la différence entre les deux dans le monde du cinéma d'horreur, ben sincèrement.

Ça va être exactement le même film. S'ils avaient voulu faire différent ils n'auraient pas repris exactement le même pitch de base (campement scientifique isolé en Antarctique).

Sous le prétexte de donner 2-3 infos supplémentaires croustillantes à l'histoire de Carpenter (pis encore là, c'est si on est chanceux), ce film là va refourguer les mêmes idées principales.

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Si vous avez vu la version Carpenter, vous avez déjà la fin de ce film si vraiment le prequel. Nous avions déjà une visite du camp de ceux qui avaient découvert "la chose". Cela va être un peu intéressant de voir plus en profondeur leur histoire mais niveau surprise, ça risque d'être assez ordinaire.

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Si vous avez vu la version Carpenter, vous avez déjà la fin de ce film si vraiment le prequel. Nous avions déjà une visite du camp de ceux qui avaient découvert "la chose". Cela va être un peu intéressant de voir plus en profondeur leur histoire mais niveau surprise, ça risque d'être assez ordinaire.

Classiquement, on risque d'en apprendre plus sur le background de la bébitte.

Ce dont on se calisse.

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  • 3 semaines plus tard...

Déjà que The Thing est un remake de The Thing From Another World, je trouve que ça commence un peu à faire. Si le nouveau n'est pas à priori un remake, reste que ça va nous servir du réchauffé de ce que Carpenter a fait. Le film de 1982 est vraiment parfait, à mon sens. Les effets spéciaux physiques sont parmis les meilleurs que j'ai vu de ma vie et je doute que le CGI soit aussi impressionnant.

Le remâché ne fonctionne vraiment que lorsqu'il se détache en grande partie du film sur lequel il se base et tente d'emprunter un sentier différent.

On peut dire que c'était le cas avec celui de Carpenter...


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Leovinus posted:

The Thing is the best fucking movie ever made. Take every other movie in the world and shove it up your ass. They are so far below The Thing that it's not even really possible to compare any other movie to The Thing, because you can't conceptualise the difference in quality like you can't conceptualise a googolplex.

Let's talk about why The Thing is good. Better yet, I'll talk, and you can just agree and maybe repeat what I said to another person later. The first thing The Thing got right was the same thing Twelve Angry Men got right. That is to say that there are no bitches in the movie at all. I'll bet that when the script for The Thing got run by a movie exec, he was like "This is good and all, but where's the sex appeal? Put in a chick like the non-butch one from Alien." And I imagine that John Carpenter would have told him that it wasn't a movie where at the end of the movie the hero and the heroine kiss before blowing up the monster and escaping in the nick of time, not a movie like that at all, not a movie for homos. It was a movie for men who wanted to watch men deal with problems suited to other men, like what to do when an alien is fucking your day up. Then he cast a bunch of the most watchable men he could find in the movie. These men variously do things like play chess, drink scotch and smoke weed all the day. Even the men who barely appear in the movie at all are manly as all hell because they're Norwegians. They were probably walking around their Antarctic base in T-shirts and cargo shorts before they got fucked up by The Thing.

The second thing The Thing got right was that it is set in the Antarctic and there is nobody coming or going from that base, ever, especially no bitches. To give you an idea of how isolated they are, Kurt Russell could not get away from that base in a helicopter. That's not some kind of Chuck Norris joke, that's a literal plot point in the movie. In the movie Kurt Russell can't get away from the base in a helicopter. You can imagine that if Kurt Russell can't do it, neither can anybody else. So they're completely cut off from any help ever. You'll notice that this is a theme among the best movies ever. For example, the two other best movies ever made which are not The Thing are Battle Royale and Cube. Notice a pattern? A few people, a completely fucked up situation, let's see what they fucking do for the next couple of hours. Goddamn give me some of those nachos, quit hogging the nachos I'm trying to watch the movie.

The third thing The Thing got right is that it's fucking hilarious. Like, gut-bustingly funny. I don't mean that in a goth-faggots-laughing-at-death sense, but in the sense that the deaths in this movie are hysterical to anyone with a brain. Like when the doctor is defibrillating Norris and Norris' chest opens up and eats his hands, and you're just staring at the screen in open-mouthed disbelief that something that awesome just happened and then you laugh, because man, that doctor was NOT expecting that shit. And then Norris' fucking head sprouts legs and wanders off. This is advanced fucking humour here, you understand. And then later, when Palmer reveals he's a Thing and suddenly everyone realises that it was a really stupid idea to do Thing tests while everyone was tied to everyone else. Ahaha. Now everyone is yelling and trying to get away because like dumbasses they agreed to be tied to a Thing. Holy shit look at Windows, it's fucking eating him.

The fourth best thing about The Thing is that fucking noose just swinging behind Blair when he's talking to Mac through the peephole asking to come back down because he's alright now, because people just don't think about it when they first watch the movie. Blair was thinking about killing himself? Man that's pretty dark, what a great movie. Nobody thinks "oh shit, why doesn't Blair want to kill himself any more?" People are pretty dumb like that and it was awesome that they put that in just for clever people.

Number 5. Everybody dies in The Thing. I don't care what that shitty ending cutscene in the videogame said, MacReady and Childs froze to death after they blew up that base. Probably Childs was a Thing, but if he wasn't that's OK. The moral of the story is that if you put six to ten men in a room and one of them is an alien, they will eventually kill each other and sacrifice themselves for the good of the world, and they'll do that in the freezing cold drinking whisky.

Number six. "You gotta be fucking kidding". Never has an idea been better put across. Norris' head just fucking scuttled out the door and Shakespeare himself could not have put it any better.


Shakespeare posted:


Alas, poor Norris! I knew him, MacReady.

Is this Norris's fucking head I see before me?

It has took legs, and is making like yon tree.

Thou hast got to be fucking jesting.

It's the freakiest looking fucking thing you've ever seen, but they don't even get scared, they just stare at it, dumbfounded. This is the bullshit hand Fate has dealt them. And they are dealing with it like fucking men.

If you think The Thing is not the best movie ever made, fuck you. You are not fit to live on the planet where The Thing is available on DVD and I think Blu-Ray although I actually have it on HD-DVD because it was cheap and I had the drive. You probably think that a good movie is something like... well, I don't know. I can't think down to your level, because I've watched and given sufficient appreciation to The Thing.

Anyway, that is why The Thing is the best movie ever. Now go on, fuck off.

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  • 1 mois plus tard...
  • 2 semaines plus tard...

Un gros bof pour ce prequel/remake avec des personnages qui ont aucune personnalité en plus de Mary Elizabeth Winstead crissement fade comparé à Kurt Russell.

Dans le ton en général, ça fait beaucoup trop film d'horreur ordinaire avec un dernier tier qui vire totalement dans le slasher avec un festival de bébittes en CGI qui font beaucoup trop artificiels et moins organiques comparé aux effets-spéciaux old-school du film de 82.

La paranoïa oublier ça, il y a quelque moments parano dans ce prequel mais c'est loin de la tension constante qui régnait du début à la fin dans le film de Carpenter.

Même l'épisode de X-Files nommé Ice dans lequel Mulder & Scully sont pogné dans une station polaire avec un parasite arrivait à être parano tout le long avec une fucking tension de malade et rendait très bien hommage au film de Carpenter.

Et sinon pour finir...

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